| Attraction
is Everything! Here's what to do when they lose their attraction for you
Hurting?
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spell
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Single
& Happy
(c) by Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract
your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how
to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can
teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy
partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizes, classes,
advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love
magnet(tm)"
Whether choosing to
be single, or in between relationships, you can build a terrific life as
a single person. In fact, if you are in between relationships and want to
attract true love, having a terrific single life is just the thing to do.
Some singles put their focus on the fact that they are single and end up
unhappy, dissatisfied and looking for meaning in their lives. Others
almost give up having a satisfying relationship and bury themselves in work
and business. Many singles believe either openly or secretly that they cannot
be truly happy without a relationship.
Single or not, this is your life, your only life. This is not a dress rehearsal
for your life or a waiting room for your next relationship, but your life,
now. The surest way to have a happy life is not to get into a relationship,
but to build a life full of meaning and satisfaction. As a bonus, when you
do get happy in your life, you will very likely effortlessly attract a great
partner.
Below are six major components for creating a happy single life with explanations
of why each one matters, and suggestions of how to add each one to your
life.
The six components to being single and happy
1. Community
What it means
Building a community means having people who are there for you, who care
about you and your life. Community can meet many of your needs. The more
your needs get met, the less needy and the more attractive you become. Also,
the more needs get met, the less you need a partner. It's a good thing to
want to choose a partner, not need one. What's more, the more your needs
get met, the happier you get.
Why it matters
Many singles feel lonely and disconnected, and it affects the quality of
their life. They act as if the only way to get emotional needs met is through
a partner.
What you can do
Build community by joining clubs around subject matter that interests you
or by volunteering. Rekindle or strengthen community by reaching out to people
already in your life.
 |
How
to Win Back Their Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer
attracted to you
22 FREE Breakup &
Relationship eBooks
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back
for free! |
Broken
Heart?
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice
from The Breakup Guru. |
Did
She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard
women want, and never get dumped again! |
Win
Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you
forever more! |
|
2. Life rich in
pleasure
What it means
The pleasure of time, space, rich surroundings, luxurious body care, flowers,
etc. are not just reserved for a lover to give as gifts. These are gifts
you can give yourself. Think of your life's outlook after indulging in something
nurturing and pleasurable, such as being in nature, exercise, a good meal,
etc. Doesn't life look full of promise? Imagine a life rich in such moments
of pleasure. Such a life would greatly improve your quality of life
and happiness level.
Why it matters
Many singles forgo pleasure, time, and self-care for business or job. It
is as if they don't matter; only their accomplishments do.
What you can do
Add three luxurious, pleasurable things to your day. These don't have to
be huge. Perhaps a ten-minute stroll, a few minutes reading a book, a cat
nap, a body-care product that smells or feels good, a sit-down meal. Figure
out what these three things are by remembering the last few times you felt
truly luxuriated.
3. Life lived now
What it means
Your life happens now, today, and is not a dress rehearsal for when you have
a relationship. When you want to participate in life, but stop yourself because
you are single, you stifle your spirit. You accumulate resentments for your
singlehood at the universe and at the opposite sex, because not being in
a relationship stops you from living your chosen life. On the other hand,
living the life you want now enlivens and energizes you. It gives you a sense
of wellbeing, and happiness. Living your life now makes you very
attractive.
Why it matters
Many singles wait until they are in a relationship to live the kind of life
they want and do the things they love to do.
What you can do
Figure out what things you have not done because you have been waiting for
a partner. Which three sound the most fun, and give you the most charge when
you think about them? Those are the three to do now.
4. Relationship Skill Building
What it means
There is a real set of skills few of us know exists, and even fewer actually
have, that can guarantee you will attract good, compatible partners to build
a great, healthy relationship. The fact that you have not had a successful
life-long relationship so far does not mean there is something wrong with
you or that you are meant to be alone. It is truly a matter of learning new
skills.
Why it matters
Many singles worry that they will continue to have unhappy, unsuccessful
relationships. Many believe there is nothing short of settling that can be
done about being single. Many fear they are meant to be alone.
What you can do
Put yourself in relationship school. Read books about relationship skills,
go to workshops and seminars, hire a relationship coach. Keep learning and
becoming confident in your skills. Don't give up!
5. Putting the past in the past
What it means
There is no surer way to spoil an otherwise great life than with resentments
and anger about what happened in the past. Most people know they need to
let go of the past and yet most believe that they cannot. There is a real
set of skills that few of us know exists, and even fewer actually have, that
can guarantee you will let go of all past hurts and resentments. Bet that
would improve your happiness level and the quality of your life!
Why it matters
Many singles hold on to what happened in the past as a way to prevent the
same thing happening in the future. Others hold on because they don't know
how to let go. Either way, the past drains your vital life energy.
What you can do
Learn how to let go of your past. Put yourself in completion school. Read
books, go to workshops and seminars, hire a therapist or a coach. Keep learning
new ways to let go of the past, applying them, and gaining more and more
freedom.
6. Passion/Purpose/Vision/Action
What it means
Be powered by passion about your life. Have a purpose for waking up in the
morning. Have a vision of your place in the world and what you want to contribute
to others. Take action about all of these. Single or with a partner, your
life's purpose is your own, and will energize you when pursued. You will
be happiest following your life purpose.
Why it matters
Many singles are waiting for a relationship to infuse their life with passion
and purpose, not realizing that having a loving partner is not a substitute
for a meaningful life.
What you can do
Figure out what makes time stop for you, what lights you up to no end, what
always fuels you with energy. What ever that activity is, it is a part of
your life purpose. Now get into action on that wonderful thing, and let it
lift you up and transform
you.
FIVE GREAT BREAKUP RESOURCES FROM
BREAKUP-GIRL & LIFTED HEARTS!
1.
BreakupMagazine.com
- Get a FREE issue today! Awesome and exclusive articles on breakups,
and breaking up, that are not found anywhere else on the
internet!
2. BECAUSE NOT EVERY MAN IS
THE SAME, THE PLAN FOR WINNING THEM BACK SHOULDN'T BE THE SAME, EITHER! That's
why we now have THE ZODIAC MAN! This
is a great source of advice for winning the heart of, or winning back
the heart of, any man of the Zodiac.
3.
MyBreakupSpace.com
- Do you like MYSPACE? We now offer you MY 'breakup' SPACE! It's a brand
new site for our visitors here. Go on over there & check it out! It's
FREE for all of you!
4.
My Big Breakup - A satirical
look at break ups and at the opposite sex. Featuring "And the Frog Shit
on the Princess" and "Exes are from Uranus". Take a comical look
at the lighter-side of breaking up, and learn how to get over a break up
at the same time! Hailed as brilliantly funny and 'dead on right' in
most cases!
4.
MyBreakupBlog.com
- Get your own break up blog! Communicate and journal your breakup through
our FREE blog! Read others entries. Enjoy!
5.
Join Our Lifted Hearts Community: Our
very own Lifted Hearts Community on the web (for everyone)! Read all of our
webBooks for free, plus our booklets and dozens of poems, too. Learn
how to stop your breakup, or mend your broken heart. Learn how to get the
commitment phobe (commitmentphobe) to make a commitment - to you!
Learn how to make a man fall in with love you, or find out why a woman dumps
a man. Read about commitment phobia (commitmentphobia) and your attachment
to the CP. Find out the real reason why women cheat. Join in on our private
message boards. This community will become your awesome new home on the web
- where you can make great friends for life!
Article
by:
Weekly Coaching
Challenge
Are you willing to give up the notion that a relationship will make everything
right in your life? Are you willing to give up the fantasy that there is
a perfect mate for you, and give up the belief that there are no compatible,
worthy partners? Are you willing to learn the skills to build a great
relationship? Write to
Coach@WhatItTakes.com with what you learn
and experience as a result of this coaching challenge.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries |
| Getting To Commitment
Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into
relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language,
and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions
are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment
issues or involved with someone who is.
|
| He's Scared, She's Scared
Available for the first time in paperback,
this follow-up to the phenomenally successful
Men Who Can't Love tackles
the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying
contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore
why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the
equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and
real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom
gained by personal experience,
He's
Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine,
sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.
|
| Men Who Can't Love
This book saved me from going crazy and
from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate
commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that
all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded
just like the people in this book she'd read -
"Men
Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What
a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the
behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my
boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers
while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from
me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid
out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the
same time.
|
| I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline
Personality
This is a
great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you
have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD
it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual
to other are understandable and can be explained and
treated. |
|
