Hurting? Learn how to break free from their spell

My Breakup Space
My Breakup Blog
My Big Breakup
The Zodiac Man
STOP a Breakup
Breakups Magazine
Gay/Lesbian Advice

What Makes You Irresistible?

Red Hot Love Relationships

The Ultimate Womans Guide To Dating

OUR MEMBERS' BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up The essential female companion from the first moment he walks out of your life! The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up offers step-by-step advice for getting over him.

The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart Finally a book of poetry that describes every emotion you go through when you are in love and heart broken. This book is amazing and wonderful. I recommend it to who ever loves poetry and ever had a broken heart.

He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit? In easy psychological terms, this book helps a woman understand why a man may react negatively to her even when she feels she's doing everything right for a relationship. With different female personalities portrayed, the reader will find themselves fitting one or more of the profiles.

Breakup Community
How To Be Irresistible
Save My Relationship
Perfect Love Letters
Man Magnet
Broken Heart Repair
Get Your Ex Back
Why Men Cheat Forum
Stop His Commitmentphobia

Cunnilingus Academy
Curl her toes with these tips and techniques!

Nice Guys, Inc. - A website devoted to advice for the Nice Guy!

The discovery of an affair will attack you with shock, anger and numbness. No matter what way you choose to react, your surroundings will look the same afterwards because you have not yet started coping with what has transpired. You find that you are suddenly lost due to being caught off guard. You never thought this would happen to you. So when it does, what should you do when this painful truth is revealed and how can you forgive it?

The first thing to do when you find out that your partner has been cheating is to allow your emotions to flow out of your body. Holding your feelings in will only make you feel worse and cause a tremendous amount of stress both physically and mentally. Once you have expressed your instant reaction, you can start thinking more slowly and rationally. You will start examining your relationship, wondering where it went wrong and if it was ever as wonderful as you claimed it to be. You will create a chain of questions that have not yet been answered and will start feeling farther and farther away from getting any of them answered. Everything will be sorted out time, but first thing is first… and that is getting your emotions sorted out.

Once your emotions have been expressed and sorted out, it is important to remember to not give the affair more power over your life than it deserves, even though at the time being, it feels like the end of the world. The fact of the matter is, it is not the end of the world, but has changed your world and the way you look at it, which is understandable. Know that your partner's affair has nothing to do with his or her love for you, nor does it make you a failure in relationships. What the affair does tell you though, is that there are essential issues that need to be addressed. It is normal to be angry and unable to calmly discuss this with your partner, so let him or her know that (without getting violent or throwing them out of course). Let him or her know that you are deeply hurt and angry that they chose an affair as a way to deal with the issues in your relationship and you are not ready to talk about it just yet.

How to Win Back Their Attraction! ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer attracted to you 24 FREE Breakup & Relationship eBooks Join our community and get our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back for free! Broken Heart? Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice from The Breakup Guru. Did She Dump You? Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard women want, and never get dumped again! Win Your Ex Back! Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you forever more!

When you are ready, where do you start? It will be difficult to focus on the discussion if you are torturing yourself with visual thoughts of the cheating act. Make an effort to be strong and avoid the unnecessary painful thoughts that will in no way make you feel better or get your relationship back on track. You know what goes on when two people are intimate, so save yourself the details you already know and spare yourself the hurt. The focus is to find and establish the reasons for the affair and ways you can move on with your lives together, with a new and improved affair proof relationship. Good communication will be the key to your road to recovery, so be sure to ask the right questions, listen with undivided attention and understanding, as well as answering the questions you are asked and finding suitable solutions on how to prevent the same event in the future.

Anger, as well as other emotions, will arise while you and your partner attempt to make things right and better. You may blow up during discussions because your mind will re-fresh your memory of how your partner had the guts to betray you and how stupid, hurt and disrespected it made you feel. Your partner (the afairee) may also become upset because of your non-stop attacks on him or her, especially if they confessed and genuinely apologized. Before attempting any conversations regarding the affair, be sure that you and your partner agree to disagree and express anger. You both need to have patience for each other's feelings, for it will take time to get past the emotional outbursts. If things start getting out of control and you find yourselves no longer talking, but only yelling and blaming instead, end the conversation and give each other some space. You may need to do this several times until you can talk without such interruptions. Take it one step at a time. After all, if you and your partner have made a decision to make things work, then there is no need to rush and panic.

After you and your partner get everything out in the open and understand the roots of the affair, you can then concentrate on re-building the trust and forgiving once and for all. Forgiving your partner does not mean you will forget what happened, but it will mean that you have accepted what transpired and are ready to move forward without bringing the past into your future as a couple. It will be difficult for you to blindly trust your partner again, but you must make an effort, as well as your partner. Your trust will strengthen as time goes by and through the convincing actions of your partner. You cannot put your partner on a leash and monitor him or her 24 hours a day, and you shouldn't want to. Do not expect things to magically improve, because you will be disappointed. Re-building the trust, passion and strength in your relationship will take a reasonable amount of time and could even require counseling if you feel you cannot make it on your own.

Re-building your self-esteem will help you forgive the affair as well. Being betrayed can do great damage to the way you feel about and look at yourself. You may feel less attractive physically and not worthy enough both mentally and spiritually. Get in touch with yourself and terminate your insecurities by finding ways to replenish the perspective you have on your being. Continue to tell yourself that an affair does not change the wonderful person you are and you are just as beautiful, desirable, intelligent and respectable as ever.

To avoid getting pulled back into the past, set your mind and heart on creating new memories together. Exploring new happiness will help your relationship mend and move on greatly. Go on dates, get romantic and become better friends than before! Make a permanent note in your mind that nobody is perfect but everyone deserve forgiveness for their mistakes. Try putting yourself in your partner's shoes and think about the pain and regret they are going through and how much they love you. He or she knew it was wrong to do before they did it, but probably felt it was their only way to cope with their troubles at the time. If you have been genuinely apologized to and promised that it will never happen again, then open your heart and give him or her a chance. You obviously love your partner and he or she loves you, which is why you have decided to forgive and move on. So work as a team and be each other's strength in putting the past behind you, looking at it as a learning experience in which will assist you in making your love affair-proof from this point on.

Join Our Community, Lifted Hearts, Today! In Our Community You Can Stop Your Break Up...
Heal From A Broken Heart...
Become A Magnet To The Opposite Sex...
Find Out Why People Cheat...
Get The Commitment Phobe to Propose and Make a Commitment to You...
Discover Why You Are Attracted To A Commitment Phobe...
Get Great Break Up Poems and Quotes...
Join an Awesome Break Up Support Community...
And More! Our GREAT Support Forums, Super Enlightening webBooks...All In One Convenient Package! Click here for more information.

For more insights into breakups, reconciliations, and guaranteeing loving & lasting relationships, please read How to Get OVER a Breakup.

Read Dream Chasers: The CP Addiction (Falling in Love and Dealing with a Commitmentphobic Person) and join in on the CP-Anon board. You can be reading this insightful information, written especially for those who are in love with a commitmentphobic person, in less than two minutes!

Want to stop your breakup or divorce? You can stop your breakup or divorce and save your relationship! Click here to find out how!

From Commitment Phobe to "I Do"! A Strategic Ten-Step Plan for Getting Your
Commitment Phobic Lover to Want to Make a Commitment - to YOU!
READ IT ONLINE RIGHT NOW!

AND...

NEW! FOR THE WOMEN WE NOW HAVE THE ZODIAC MAN! This is a source of great advice for winning the heart of, or winning back the heart of, any man of the Zodiac. 

Getting To Commitment Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language, and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment issues or involved with someone who is.

He's Scared, She's Scared Available for the first time in paperback, this follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom gained by personal experience, He's Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.

Men Who Can't Love This book saved me from going crazy and from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded just like the people in this book she'd read - "Men Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the same time.

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality This is a great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual to other are understandable and can be explained and treated.

Please Visit Our Sponsors

The Breakup Guru
============

Borderland Blues Gay & Lesbian Advice
============

Breakup Poems   |   Breakup Songs   |   Break Up Quotes   |   Commitmentphobia

The Rich Bitch Forum - for successful women webpreneurs   |   Free Debt Consolidation Counseling   |   Win Back Your Ex

Have a relationship question? STOP using general search engines and start
using the Relationship Directory to find the relationship answers you're looking for!