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Walking on Egg Shells !
By: Dorothy Lafrinere
Walking on egg shells! Has anyone ever told
you, that's how they feel around you? If they have, it's a huge red flag
and one that should not be ignored. It needs to be dealt with immediately.
Relationships are a tough challenging part of
our lives. Especially when dealing with matters of the heart. As truly good
as they make you feel, they can in turn tear you apart from the inside in
a heartbeat. When the red flags start to rise up, that's when your relationship
is crying out for help. You need to address it, as if a baby was crying out
to you.
When someone says they feel like they are walking
on egg shells, what is that telling you? It's telling you :
that they can no longer be themselves in your
presence.
that they fear your reaction whenever they speak.
that they are stuck, that they cannot move in
either direction, for fear of upsetting you.
It is also telling you that they need to stop
this feeling that is tearing them apart.
Many of us are guilty for causing these prison
bars that surround our loved ones.
We do not even realize that our own fears are
doing this to them. We are so caught up in ourselves that we are blind to
the world that we have created for them.
Through our own fears we hear what they say
in all the wrong languages. We interpret them through our weaknesses and
turn what they say all upside down.
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Some of us react irrationally, forcing our partner to either take cover and
hide or even worse become irrational themselves. This is when we both become
deaf and blind. When the relationship war begins, there are no winners, only
victims. What once was love, kisses and smiles has turned into an ugly vicious
battle ground of snarls, hate, and searching for the lowest hit we can aim
for. Wow, how does this happen so fast? We as humans are notorious for ruining
so many very good things out of pure bad habits.
No one wants to lose or be the one saying, "I
am sorry" every five minutes, nor should a real relationship become a win/lose
situation either. Who wants to walk on egg shells? Then again, no one wants
to have to defend their every breathe to someone they thought loved them
unconditionally and are committed to. Walking on egg shells sucks!
If we cannot be ourselves with the one we love,
then who can we be that with? This is not to say that a person should disrespect
the other. When you know that something troubles the other person or makes
them feel truly uncomfortable, it should go without saying that it is just
not done. That is true respect. Why would you want to do something to hurt
your best friend or even make your loved one feel out of place?
In new relationships it does take time to get
things organized as in any new situation. Moving into a new house, a new
job, having a baby, or even planning a trip, we have to reorganize to accommodate
our now lives. Committing to another person is just the beginning of the
book. It is just the title. Now you have to write the story and yes, make
a few corrections along the way on both parts, but the trick is to constantly
compare each others notes. Remember this: staying on the same page is what
your relationship is all about.
When we make a commitment to another person
through love, we are taking on a responsibility to share our love and life
with that person. We are silently telling them that we are now going to take
in consideration their feelings as well as our own.
Your once single-self life has now become a
two-self life. This does not mean that you stop breathing and living. It
just means that you are now sharing your life with this chosen person. It
opens up a whole new world of respect. Remember also that you cannot gain
respect if you do not offer respect. Life becomes a definite two-way street
when two hearts are involved. There are also two minds working in this
relationship now; two minds that are of opposite genders, two minds that
will collide now and then. This is not a bad thing. We need to have differences
to add spice to our lives.
Be very careful of starting the "Poor Me", habit.
This is another relationship red flag to watch for. Remember, walking on
egg shells? If one partner becomes so caught up in their own worries and
fails to share this with their partner, it will sneak in between you both
and begin to build a very strong wall of negative habits. If you have read
any of my other articles, you will know these negative habits well, jealousy,
mistrust, low self-esteem and total loneliness.
When your partner begins to feel they are slipping
away from you, grab on and do not for a minute take that red flag for granted.
Listen hard to their worries and love them more, not necessarily better.
Just show more of your love. If they keep slipping away, then there is either
nothing left to save or they need help outside of your relationship.
It is so important to know your partner. Only
then can you realize when they are in trouble. Do not allow your relationship
to become the wallpaper in your house. No one wants to be a wallflower. No
one with any self-respect that is.
Another great phrase I hear all the time is,
"Door Mat syndrome". Oh this is a very bad thing for couples to allow to
take hold of their relationship. In many cases one partner has taken hold
of it and falls into a control habit. This is something that plagues many
relationships. When does one partner become the owner? I will use that word
because it shows possession and control. This happens because it can. Some
one has allowed this ownership to take place. STOP allowing this, please.
A partnership, relationship, commitment, whatever you want to call it, is
an EQUAL understanding of respect and love. There are no owners and no bosses.
No one is above the other. Man should respect woman and vice-verse. This
is a must in order to make a relationship strong enough to not allow negative
habits any control.
When there are no negative habits, there is
no walking on eggshells. How much more simpler can it get. We are an intelligent
species, so let us act intelligent when we decide to commit to another person.
This is two lives we are dealing with here, not just another Hollywood movie.
We are all going to age and all of us are going to notice our body parts
going south. Guess what, no one is above that law. When you have found a
true love, and are willing to invest your life with that person, please do
not allow material things or negative fantasy ideals to come between you.
It really is not worth it.
When you feel unsure of something ,or you feel
negative emotions taking control of your mind, reach out to your partner.
Don't walk on egg shells. Do not turn it into a war against your partner.
Use all of your love to fight the negative relationship habits. Love is worth
it. We all have our good and bad days. Some have more than others. So when
it's a good day, then make it a really good day. Those are always remembered
the longest. Don't walk on egg shells. We have to love ourselves first, then
and only then can we love another!
Tell each other often what you saw in each other,
what you see now.
Being reminded why we are "The One" helps us
to act that way.
-Toni Sciarra Poynter
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AND...
NEW! FOR THE
WOMEN WE NOW HAVE THE ZODIAC MAN!
This is a source of great advice for winning the heart of, or winning
back the heart of, any man of the
Zodiac.
Article by:
Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator Website-
www.womensselfesteem.com Forum-
womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
|
Women
- Learn New Ways to Masturbate
How To Spot A Dangerous
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Attract And Keep
Any Man! Teaching Women How to Hypnotically Capture Mr. Right.
Love, Romance And
Passion For Women. Learn How To Drive Your Man Wild! Bring more Love,
more Romance, and more Passion into your life starting now.
500 Secrets About
Men. This package is required reading for every woman who loves a man.
What you absolutely must know about him to make him yours!
Keep Other Women
Away From Your Man.com. How To Keep Other Women Away From Your Man.
| Getting To Commitment
Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into
relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language,
and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions
are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment
issues or involved with someone who is.
|
| He's Scared, She's Scared
Available for the first time in paperback,
this follow-up to the phenomenally successful
Men Who Can't Love tackles
the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying
contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore
why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the
equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and
real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom
gained by personal experience,
He's
Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine,
sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.
|
| Men Who Can't Love
This book saved me from going crazy and
from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate
commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that
all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded
just like the people in this book she'd read -
"Men
Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What
a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the
behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my
boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers
while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from
me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid
out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the
same time.
|
| I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline
Personality
This is a
great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you
have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD
it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual
to other are understandable and can be explained and
treated. |
|
