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After Divorce:
Seven Ways to Rediscover Your True Passion
By: Joanie Winberg
Going through a divorce is a very challenging
time in a person’s life. It is hard to adjust to being single again,
as well as living “out of the habit” of being married, especially
if you have been married for many, many years.
Eventually, you
begin to think about dating, but it is suggested that you take your time.
Use this precious opportunity to rediscover yourself. Think of this time
in your life as an adventure to explore the real you. If you have worked
outside the home combined with being a mom and wife for the last ten, fifteen
or twenty years, you may have lost yourself along the way. Certainly not
on purpose, but as most women try to do it all as “super” moms,
many times we put our own wants and needs on hold to keep our families and
jobs running smoothly!
Take a deep breath and let’s start to
rediscover our true passions and say…Will the Real Me Please Stand Up!
1. Treasure Your Gifts Within
Realizing we are all born as “gold
nuggets” is a hard concept for many women to believe about themselves.
Think about how magnificent you really are! Over time, you might have forgotten
your unique gifts and are only thinking of what you don’t like about
yourself or your life. Set a new intention, starting today, to list all of
your great qualities and read that list everyday. Keep reading it until you
believe it. Examples: beautiful smile, kindness, generosity, loving, caring,
intelligent… keep going. Your list is endless, when you start focusing
on your great qualities. Allow yourself to see the shining gold within.
It’s already there!
 |
How
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ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer
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2. Give Yourself A Break
During and after a divorce it is common to have
the feeling of grieving, similar to that of the loss of someone. Many women
feel the need to stay busy to keep their minds off of this stressful time,
such as working overtime or cleaning the house from top to bottom, but let
this time also include pampering yourself. Barter with a friend or neighbor
to watch your children or leave work a few minutes early so you can stop
to sit on a park bench long enough to get that sense of the unique and special
YOU. Take this time to experience life even for only 10 minutes without feeling
like a wife, mother, sister or daughter… simply you!
Yes, you do deserve to do something special
for yourself. It can be as simple as taking a bath or a walk, going to the
mall or reading a book with your favorite cup of tea. Give yourself permission
- it’s O.K. Remember, the happier you are, the happier your family will
be!
3. No regrets! No bitterness!
Holding onto regrets and bitterness will only
keep your life from moving forward. Is your inner voice working overtime
with all the “what ifs” and “if onlys”? This is normal
for a period of time, but ask yourself…are these thoughts serving me
or helping me feel better? Will thinking about them over and over again change
anything? To move your life forward, it is important to acknowledge your
feelings and to learn from your past experiences to prepare yourself for
the next exciting chapter of your life. Yes, there is life after divorce.
Learn to let it go! Just, let it go!
A quote from Buddy
Hackett, “I never hold a grudge because while I am being angry, the
other person is out dancing.”
4. Enjoy the Little
Things
Life after divorce usually means added
responsibilities. If you are a single parent or are now the one responsible
for the once shared to-do list, how do you handle it all without being totally
stressed out? To start, learn to laugh more, especially at yourself. Learn
to let things go and not take life so seriously. Lighten-up! Learn to live
in the present moment. Living in the present is where all the “good
stuff” in life happens. Yesterday’s worries are gone forever and
tomorrow’s to-do list can wait. Think of it this way, when one is missing
this moment in time, one is missing out on one’s life.
So how do we live
in the present?
If you are feeling
stressed, immediately leave your thoughts in your head and take off your
blinders. (Blinders similar to what a horse would wear, not allowing it to
see from side to side). Start to look around you. I mean really look around
you. Look closely at everything. Really focus. Use all your senses! For example,
if you are with your children observe them. Cherish their smiles. Give them
a hug. See the true beauty of who they are and appreciate them for being
a part of your life. You will start to feel your stress subside and a feeling
of peace sweep over you.
To be present, no
matter where you are, use all your senses to pull you back into the moment.
Take time to appreciate all the beauty that already exists around you. You
only have to be present to see it!
5. What Makes Your
Heart Sing?
What really matters to you? What do you feel
is your true purpose in life? If someone asked you that question, how would
you answer them?
Why is it so important to be clear on what your
life’s purpose is? Knowing your purpose, will give you a true sense
of who you are and why you were put on this earth. It gives your life direction
and helps you make clear and easy decisions concerning that direction. It’s
your compass! Without a purpose, can your life be compared to a piece of
driftwood; Floating endlessly in whichever direction the tide decides to
take it and ending up on any beach with no will of its’ own?
When you live your
life based on your purpose you are living in integrity with yourself and
are in alignment of who you really are in all aspects of your life - body,
mind and spirit. Take this time to focus on what really matters to you. Feel
the true passions that exist in your heart and write them down.
6. What Are Your
Vibes Saying About You?
Are you familiar with the Law of Attraction?
Maybe you have heard the expressions, “What you think about, you bring
about” or “The more attention you give to something, the more attention
it will give to you.” When going through a divorce, your emotions can
be compared to a roller coaster ride. Use this time to become reconnected
to your inner awareness of who you are. Learn to sit still and quiet until
you understand what emotions you are feeling. Realize that your feelings
and sensations are okay, then learn to listen to what your mind and body
are telling you.
Here is a great tip…recognize if your feelings
are low energy or high energy.
A few examples of
low energy are stress, negativity, fear, resentment, or a sense of lack (lack
of time or money) and high energy is joy, abundance, happy, positive, love
or compassion. If you are having feelings of low energy, how do you make
a shift to feel more of the high energy?
First, acknowledge
and accept the feelings you are having. Be gentle with yourself! Your goal
is to make a shift, but realize you might not be able to go from low to high
instantly. Start with baby steps! Repeat step number one and become present!
Be thankful for what is working in your life right now. Do something simple
like pat your pet, smell a flower or, if you are in the office, take a minute
to think of a previous fun time or experience you have had that could bring
a smile to your face. Feel the shift you are starting to make in your energy.
Now, to amp up this
high energy feeling, think of another time of joy or something you were
passionate about in your life. Keep adding these thoughts to your high energy
feeling and begin to feel great! Does it seem the people or situations around
you have changed or is it you who has really changed? So, who has the power
to feel their own joy? When you are feeling your high energy, this is the
time to take your next inspired action and enjoy the feeling of accomplishing
something with ease and less effort!
7. Be True To Yourself
During and even after a divorce, we are often
filled with doubts. We question ourselves about what is right, what to do
or how we feel. Should I or shouldn’t I? It seems difficult to make
a decision. Listen to your heart. What feels right? What doesn’t feel
quite right? If a situation does not feel right, honor your resistance by
pausing or waiting. Sometimes waiting is the best thing to do. By waiting
you may have allowed the situation to unfold more easily without having to
worry! If a decision feels good or right, usually that means you are heading
in the right direction. When we listen to our hearts, we are in integrity
with ourselves. When we are in integrity with ourselves, we learn to say
NO more easily.
Has this ever happened
to you? You are asked to be on a committee or to volunteer for something
and you say yes, even though you know it will make your schedule even tighter
or you really don’t want to or have to?
How do you stop this from happening? Next time
you are in this situation and you are ready to say yes, yet, find yourself
having doubts, try this … STOP! Take a breath or even take a step back
(this action will prevent you from saying yes). Pause! Thank the person for
thinking of you, but let them know you will have to check your calendar and
get back to them. When you do have time to think about it, focus on how you
are feeling. Are you excited to volunteer or do you feel some resistance?
If in a day or two you are still feeling doubtful, realize the timing might
not be right for you. If you are still excited, join the committee and have
fun!
Divorce is not easy
or fun and you can make it through this time of your life by realizing you
WILL make it! Also, honor yourself and listen to your heart! Your true purpose
and passions are waiting to be rediscovered within you! When you have discovered
the “gold nugget” you already are, you will start to live your
life with more ease and enjoy the feeling of peace. “You are truly
free!”
~~~~~~~~~~~
A
to Z Guide to the Perfect Blow Job: Fellatio Tips and Techniques That
Will Leave Him Begging for More
Join
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it possible to get your boyfriend or your girlfriend back, to stop your breakup,
or to mend your relationship? Yes, we believe it is. And we have seen
proof of it many times right here at LiftedHearts.net. We have the information
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Article by:
As a speaker, a
Relationship Coach, a Human Behavior Consultant and a Certified Laughter
Coach, Joanie Winberg presents fun-filled experiences that provide a life-long
impact. Her guidance and insights enhance understanding in oneself as well
as others, plus using her laser focused how-to tips are easy and can be
implemented into your life…immediately! For more information, go to
www.happywednesday.com.
|
Women
- Learn New Ways to Masturbate
How To Spot A Dangerous
Man. How to spot a dangerous man - before you get involved.
Attract And Keep
Any Man! Teaching Women How to Hypnotically Capture Mr. Right.
Love, Romance And
Passion For Women. Learn How To Drive Your Man Wild! Bring more Love,
more Romance, and more Passion into your life starting now.
500 Secrets About
Men. This package is required reading for every woman who loves a man.
What you absolutely must know about him to make him yours!
Keep Other Women
Away From Your Man.com. How To Keep Other Women Away From Your Man.
| Getting To Commitment
Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into
relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language,
and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions
are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment
issues or involved with someone who is.
|
| He's Scared, She's Scared
Available for the first time in paperback,
this follow-up to the phenomenally successful
Men Who Can't Love tackles
the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying
contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore
why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the
equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and
real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom
gained by personal experience,
He's
Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine,
sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.
|
| Men Who Can't Love
This book saved me from going crazy and
from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate
commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that
all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded
just like the people in this book she'd read -
"Men
Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What
a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the
behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my
boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers
while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from
me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid
out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the
same time.
|
| I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline
Personality
This is a
great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you
have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD
it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual
to other are understandable and can be explained and
treated. |
|
